Can Men Fake Orgasm?
Can Men Fake Orgasm?
The question on many a woman’s lips (no pun intended!) – Can Men Fake Orgasm? Well, according to surveys in recent years – Hell yes, would be the answer! For a long, long time, it’s been thought that the subtle art of “faking it” was exclusively a woman’s domain but it turns out not so! I’m more interested in the “Why?” and the survey results are a little surprising!
Surveys and Studies
Not surprisingly, there have been a huge number of studies carried out on women over the years and the results (embarrassingly) report that the “majority” of women have faked a climax at least once in the past (an average of 53-65% of women surveyed!). I say embarrassingly because it’s apparent from those surveys that many women still regard sex as “pleasure for him” but I digress …. Only in more recent years have similar surveys been carried out on men.
From 2010-2017 a number of studies were conducted and the results are alarming, particularly to the female population.
Over 25% of all men surveyed admitted that they have pretended to orgasm during sex
I have to admit that even I gasped in horror – 1 in 4 men have faked it – that’s potentially a quarter of your male sexual partners – and even more if you’re bisexual!
Why Do Men Fake It?
All the men surveyed were first asked about their relationship status at the time and then an underlying reason, if any. The results were as follows:
Long Term Relationship – 31%
So, the majority of “fakers” were actually in long-term relationships. (This surprised me too. I’m not sure why but I expected it to be highest amongst married men).
One-night Stands – 28%
Second highest were those looking for a quick fix. This super surprised me – I always thought of one-night stands as being a hot hot, passionate frenzy without the ties. (Never having had a one-night stand I now realise that this is perhaps an idealisation!)
The reasons given here were even more surprising; ill fitting condoms, recreational drug use and/or excess alcohol consumption, and the most cited reason was that it just wasn’t that enjoyable or they “weren’t into it”!
New Relationships – 26%
Coming in close to one night stands was the “newbies”.
Men in new relationships felt a huge pressure to perform, which can be frightening, especially if you lack confidence or really, really like the person and want to make a good impression and some simply said that things were taking too long. The surprise card here was that a few even admitted that it was their first time and having only climaxed through masturbation the sensations and techniques were very different.
Married – 15%
The least likely to fake their orgasm was the married man but their reasons left me feeling quite sad. Mental or physical exhaustion, stress, or a new baby were all answers but the most common was “lack of communication”.
What to do?
Despite a couple of expected answers (drugs/alcohol etc) there was an alarming theme to the responses. Regardless of relationship status, the majority of men who fake orgasm, did it to prevent hurting their partners feelings. They felt it was better to pretend to make the other person feel good – the exact reason that most women give.
So, how do we deal with this?
In simple terms – Talk, Talk, Talk!
If you suffer delayed orgasm (highly subjective of course – some people want a bit more than the average 5.4 minutes), premature ejaculation, difficulty maintaining an erection, or have recently changed medication, then please talk to your doctor or health professional.
If you feel “stuck in a rut”, “lack of communication” or stress please talk to a therapist. Most importantly though – talk to your partner.
If we all stop faking, (that applies to men & women) and start talking, we’ll end up with better sex for the whole world!
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